Those Who Do Good

by Jan Chaffin

It is a sunny Monday morning in Pescadero California. Perhaps the luckiest human alive, I work in a beautiful state park, part of a collective of skilled, dedicated staff and volunteers. Every day is unique in its challenges and provisions. Today is no exception.

Before the park store is officially open for the day, a barefoot visitor walks in and announces that a female elephant seal is in distress on our main public beach. I realize he is probably a local surfer, one of many who enjoy the rare protected sets of waves in our cove. I thank him and radio park staff about the report.

Soon, a young staff interpreter walks in to inform me the animal is actually a sea lion who is indeed exhibiting signs of distress. She shows me video footage of an animal foaming at the mouth and raising one flipper in the air as if trying to flag someone for help. We google the typical pinniped diseases and determine the sea lion might be suffering from domoic acid based on her behavior. She arranges a call to the wildlife center to try and rescue the animal.

Meanwhile, the volunteer docent arrives for her shift in the store. I enjoy all the volunteers and have become quite close to at least a few of them. They are caring, talented folks with fascinating life stories. Mary lives on a remote homestead and is a very strong and independent woman who has raised a family single-handedly. She and I catch up on the latest events and open the store to the public.

The first customer is another docent who is moving out of state back to his home town in the mid-West and wants to take some mementos. We discover he has volunteered here for over ten years and today is his last day. He tells us this experience has been one of the most gratifying in his life and despite trying not to, he couldn’t help crying as he turned in his uniform.

We learn he was an endocrinologist for county health where he treated folks of all economic capacities, never turning away anyone for lack of money. Mary tells him her own daughter is about to graduate from medical school and will intern as an OB-GYN also in the Mid-West. They proceed to discuss the dire needs of underserved folks in that area. I probably should walk away and let them continue talking but I’m interested in their conversation.

There’s clearly a connection as they continue to discuss the grueling training regimen and long hours of medical practice. He contends there is no more gratifying endeavor and he has no regrets. He looks at Mary and tells her how proud she should be of her daughter. He tells her that her daughter will be one of the people who will make a difference in the world.

I look at her and say, you did this, you made this beautiful being. Mary is not usually an emotionally expressive person, but tears come to her eyes. I look through my own tears at the docent and his eyes are also wet.

Meanwhile, we hear radio chatter that the wildlife folks have arrived but have been turned away. Due to a lack of communication, they weren’t informed beforehand that the official policy is we don’t intervene with wildlife in distress on our beach if the cause isn’t human-inflicted.

We are perplexed by this seemingly arbitrary distinction. A suffering animal that could potentially be rehabilitated is prevented due to a policy that serves whom? What harm is there in allowing the rescue?

I think it has to do with survival of the fittest, so unless the species is severely endangered or it’s our fault, we must let nature take its course. State park policies can seem like tough love but they usually serve some greater good. We now have to appease countless visitors who will report this suffering animal and explain to them why we can’t help; it becomes a teaching moment.

The docent thanks us and leaves the store. We wipe our eyes and prepare for visitors. A docent guide is late to her school tour shift so the lead interpreter is outside showing a group of first graders how big an elephant seal is by getting them all to stand on a rug with a seal outline.

Her enthusiasm is contagious and endearing. She is the perfect person for the job. Her home was destroyed in the devastating recent wildfires that consumed our oldest, largest state park and yet here she is sharing her love of nature with future generations in view of the nearby burn scars.

In the bigger picture, people in power are threatening much of what we hold dear and take for granted. Here in our local state park, we are doing our best to do good.

Disclaimers: this is not a state park-approved post and names have been changed to protect the innocent.

The Game

by Jan Chaffin

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a very short story that sort of poured out after mulling over the theme(s) for months. At the time, I really thought it had merit. Honestly, blindered by vanity, I thought it was fabulous. So, I thought everyone should know about it, read it, praise me.

Lately, I’ve started joining peers on Substack and spend a fair amount of time reading great writers, artists and activists like Ruth ben-Ghiat, Patti Smith, Sherman Alexie, Jessica Craven, Heather Cox Richardson and Joyce Vance, to name a few.

This is new for me. I’ve avoided facebook and other social apps forever and I’ve never been much of a gamer beyond the early geek days of connecting dots on a black and white monitor in a graphics-less precursor to Dungeons and Dragons called Rogue. But lately, I have started liking posts, following writers, subscribing and participating in the platform’s social aspects.

So, like an epiphany, I thought, why can’t little ole me post my fabulous new story on Substack for all to see? My mind swirled with fantasies of my favorite contributors restacking and liking and commenting on my story.

I sent my friends links to the post, waiting for the avalanche of fandom… Nothing happened.

I reread my story and realized it had some major flaws. I still liked the conceit but knew it needed more work. I went from feeling vainglorious to sheepish; I suddenly wanted to hide. But of course, I didn’t remove the post. I still had skin in a game I didn’t realize I was playing.

I just finished Richard Power’s Playground. Like Overstory and Bewilderment, it is a network of big, beautiful ideas and it dawned on me I was becoming sucked into the game of posting and rising in the Substack ranks, of gaining more followers, more likes and more reposts. I didn’t want it to end. I cared more about staying in the game than I cared about what I posted.

Powers references this phenomenon in his novel and now I am referencing him in a post I am writing about posting about posts. Is this infinite regress, solipsism, narcissism, our new digital common space (vacuum), all of these, none, more?

Do we care less about the posts than their responses? Is the goal of commenting about comments just to stay in the game and isn’t playing its own redemption, regardless of the playground or the rules? If platforms like Substack are designed to encourage competition, to keep people on the site, does it matter? Comments?