By Jan Chaffin April 6, 2021 Año Nuevo State Park Pescadero, CA

• Disclaimer: The views expressed are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employers.

One of the things I love most about elephant seals is their general indifference towards humans. They might look up at us if we get too close but they tend to settle back into their business as soon as we move away. Their lack of flight response was one of the reasons they were so successfully hunted for their oil-fortune-rendering fat. And maybe it is one of the reasons they have so successfully recovered from near extinction. They stay out of our way by choosing generally remote breeding spots on land and spending the rest of each year swimming thousands of miles to deep dark diving spots way out in the ocean.

But when they come to land and you get to witness their heft and stature, it’s a sight you don’t forget, especially on Valentine’s Day.

This past February, as a Friends of Santa Cruz State Parks Service Aide, I had the rare opportunity to watch a young male and female elephant seal mate for what might have been the first time for each of them. They were not within the preserve. Instead, the young bull had been hauling out for weeks to the south, on the public Cove Beach. In fact, he’d taken to completely blocking the stairs for most of every day so visitors had to be re-routed back to the far end of the beach for access. Since the presence of young bulls on Cove Beach was not uncommon this time of year, staff would frequently radio seal movement so we could adjust signs and access accordingly. But the presence of a female elephant seal was newsworthy.

Anecdotally, February 14th is the most romantic day of the year for elephant seals as well as humans. That morning a volunteer docent naturalist and I were explaining to surfers why they had to trudge a mile out of their way to get to their waves, when a young female elephant seal swam out of the water and gallumped up next to the cozy young bull blocking the stairs. There’s no easy way to describe how elephant seals move on sandy beaches. They do not use their hind flippers on land, but instead, sort of hoist themselves forward on their bellies, heads and chests lifted, using only their front flippers to propel them. It’s nearly impossible not to laugh when you watch them ambulate. The young bull looked around, suddenly interested. Who is this? She settled in next to him.

“What’s going on?” Asked the surfers. The docent began narrating what was unfolding right in front of us. The young male could be identified by his significantly larger size than the female and the presence of a rather large and bulbous proboscis (snout). Soon, we discovered another way he could be identified… 

The young bull looked left and right up and down the beach, perhaps looking for challenging bulls. Then, as if suddenly realizing his once in a lifetime opportunity, he began to nuzzle beside the young cow. She did not pull away. She lay patiently letting him attempt to mount her from the rear, spooning her and misaiming his suddenly revealed sizeable seal-hood. Each of us was mesmerized by this display; we felt a combination of fascination, vouyerism and, well… admiration.

When the young bull finally succeeded in connecting, he gently rocked her to and fro for well over fifteen minutes. When it  was all over, she did not seem displeased. The two seals separated and again the bull looked up and down the beach.

Suddenly, from the near breakers, another young bull approached and hauled out, speedily gallumping towards the female. The young stud quickly mounted a defense and vocalized mightily at the attacking seal “Go away skinny bastard!” The attacking bull ignored all warnings and responded “No way, Jackass, watch how it’s really done!”

The young stud launched an offensive and rushed to the ocean’s edge to intercept the young Lothario. The two titans clashed in the water, slapping gigantic canines into each other’s chest guards, ripping fur and flesh. The battle lasted until one of them noticed the young female had surreptitiously exited the beach and swam away.

At that point, both bulls were exhausted so they hauled out for a well-deserved rest, once again blocking the bottom of the stairs.

Humbled and amazed by what I’d just witnessed, I realized we humans could learn a few things from these grand mammals who are closer to us than we know. We thanked the interpreter for the lowdown. Blushing and smiling, each of us went our separate ways.  And the surfers were happy to walk that extra mile.